to have written
Writers don’t want to write, the saying goes. They want “to have written.” (I think I’ve mentioned this on the humble blog before.) The point is that the hard work of writing isn’t necessarily what a writer wants (at least all of the time). Rather, he or she wants to warm after-glow of having the work finished. I suppose the same is the case with running. Do I really want to be out there pounding the pavement in my Brooks? Panting and sweating and wishing I was home in bed where everyone else is? (Yes. It’s true. I really do rise at 3:30 two days a week to run five miles. And on the weekends I rise at 2:30 to write! It’s also true.)
And do I want to be up at 2:30 writing? Well, yes, I do. (Odd, what I’ve become.) We’re all different, we writers. But a fellow I correspond with regularly has said that he appreciates the fact that he can call himself a writer. This distinguishes him from the rest of humanity. That great, unwashed species most of us are a part of. (Some of you, I’m certain, are something superhuman.) And so it is with my early mornings and my solitary writing sessions. It’s Me time. It’s what I do that no one else can do. It’s my uniqueness. It lets me call myself a writer. And when the words are flowing, it’s bliss. You know what I’m talking about. You know if the bliss has ever hit you. (Coincidentally, I think I had my first intense case of “runner’s high” last week. Several hours after an early morning run, I saw the world as a beautiful place. I was weepy about everything, and everything was just wonderful. The mood passed eventually, but it was a different place for me for an hour or so.)
So I really do want to write (as well as to have written). It’s a state that’s really unmatched in my day-to-day life. The wrestling with words. The moments of revelation. The satisfaction of getting the words down (even if I’m going to rearrange and replace most of them later.) The moments of knowing that I’ve said it exactly right. Of being a writer.
What about you? Does any of this make sense in terms of your experience? Do you want to write or to have written?Explore posts in the same categories: Rants and ruminations