betwixt

Like many people, I imagine, I am in an in-between state right now. I speak not only of my writing, though that too.

I’m busy sending out queries for Obelus, but I consider that work “finished.” Despite what I said in my last post, I’m not really started on my next work. A few dozen words and a few dozen doubts, but I need to better know the characters (actually, the narrators, I think) before I get too far down a path that won’t work.

Aside from my writing, though, I am in an anxious, liminal state. Tomorrow is election day, and in a moment of civic earnestness, I had volunteered to work the polls. Tomorrow is my test. I’ve taken the training — I took one class twice! — and I have studied the handbook they provided. And I’ve talked to experienced volunteers about my worries. (“Just raise your hand. Someone will help you.”) So weeks of anxiety are about to be realized or dispelled tomorrow, and I don’t know which outcome it will be. (I may be too tired to notice. The day begins at 4:30 a.m., and though the official end is at 7:00 p.m., anyone in line at that time still gets to vote. Record numbers of voters are expected. It will be a long day.)

Aside from my writing, and aside from my volunteering, though, is the outcome of the election. Will there be change or will there be continuation? Either looks possible, and that is what it is. But not knowing and having to wait (perhaps weeks) to learn the outcome leaves me in that in-between state.

It’s hard to make decisions right now. Not just about important matters but even the small stuff. It’s as though everything is (or ought to be) on hold until this waiting period ends.

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