A report on the rewrite rewrite

November 9, 2009 - One Response

I’ve barely begun on the rewriting of my novel to have a third-person narrator and  I already see how this is going to work. Basically, my rewrite of the rewrite is going to need a rewrite.

I’ve only made it through about a third of chapter one, but it went smoothly. Granted this is an introductory chapter where my original first-person narrator was providing a lot of back story, so it lended itself to third-person telling — I may have more difficult struggles in the later chapters where he is asking himself a lot of questions. Regardless, I think my worries about being able to re-imagine the story with a different story teller are mostly assuaged.

Still, I think it lacks the narrative voice I want it to have. It’s all very workmanlike, very direct but not very creative. And that is why I will rewrite the rewrite of the rewrite. Once I have the whole novel recast in third person, I’ll go through it one more time to see if I can render the voice with a bit more panache.

I like the voice I achieved in my recently published story, “Moron Saturday,” though that was intended to be comical. I don’t want that tone in this novel, but I think the voice has the right tone in that story. It gives me hope that I can do it.

I suspect it looks as though I’ll never let go of this novel, that I’ll always have some fix I want to make before I dare to submit. I don’t think that’s true, but you’d be alarmed if you heard the cacophony inside my head. That will really only be my third true rewrite. The first was to get the story down and resolve all of the plot and character issues. The second, which I’ve just begun is to recast it in the third person. And the third will be to polish it. Our craft can grind exceedingly fine sometimes.

Cover me, I’m going in!

November 7, 2009 - Leave a Response

I embark on the third-person narrator rewrite of my endlessly in progress novel The Sleep of Reason today. I have no idea whether this will be an easy or difficult task. I want to think that I have finished the tale, now I must finish the telling.

I’ve long advocated, however, that a third-person narrator really must be another complete character of the story. Not necessarily a participating character nor even a named one, but a whole person in the mind of the writer (and in the mind of the more perceptive reader, too). He or she will bring a personality to the telling as much as any active character in the story has a personality.

I have mentioned here once or twice that a careful writer ought to have the sound of the narrator’s voice firmly in mind and “hear” it as the words are spilling onto the page. (That’s why it’s called “voice” after all.) Imagine, for example, your story — the very same words — if you heard them narrated in the voice of Sean Connery and then in the voice of Robin Williams. The very same words would have different nuances of meaning, I think, and a careful writer will know what nuance he or she wants to create when choosing the narrative voice. Importantly for my current endeavor, if I have a clear voice in mind before I begin, I will write more consistently, at least from the narrator’s point of view.

I think most of the fiction writing I have done has been with a third-person narrator, so I’m hopeful I won’t have too much difficulty mastering this significant rewrite. Yet I know it will be more than just replacing “I thought” with “He thought” and such. I have the story so firmly imagined with the protagonist telling his tale, that I may have a struggle before me as I try to make someone else tell his tale.

No doubt I’ll keep you up to date on my progress.

First Update: Not ten minutes into my first effort and I ran into a problem! I have TSOR backed up on a spare laptop (my old one), so my plan is to have the 1st-person draft open on it, and I can read the text from there while I type the new text on my current laptop. (I didn’t want to have to print the entire novel on dead trees so I’d have a reading copy at hand.) You’d think that would be easy, wouldn’t you. Two computers, side by side, running the same program. Not so! It seems that I cannot have the same Word program running at the same time on two computers in the same household. I had the blank Word page open on my newer laptop, ready to receive my precious words, but when I tried to open Word on the other laptop, I got a message saying I couldn’t have two incarnations running at once. How did the system know I had it running on two computers? I thought at first that they might be communicating somehow because they were sitting so close together. But then I realized what was happening. Both computers were talking to my home wifi network, and in some diabolical bit of coding, the system spotted this double teaming and disallowed it.

My solution? Disconnect the old laptop from the network. Once I did that, I had no problem having Word open on both computers. Now I need to figure out the subtleties of the screen saver. I thought I fixed the settings on the old laptop to give me a half hour before the screen save made the screen go black, but I guess not. Onward!

Second Update: It wasn’t the screen saver. It was the energy saver. I’ve changed the settings on that. We’ll see how it works.

“Moron Saturday” on Friday

November 6, 2009 - One Response

The commedia issue of Danse Macabre (“the premier online literary magazine in Nevada”) is out today and it contains my short story “Moron Saturday.”

While I wrote this intending for it to be read as a comedy, I consider it one of my pieces of “serious” fiction. (Not that I don’t take all of my fiction writing seriously . . .) It’s my retelling of the Diana (Artemis) and Acteon story of ancient myth, a theme that has inspired much great art, and my story.

So perhaps you’ll like this piece. I worked hard on it for a long time.

LitList

November 5, 2009 - Leave a Response

I received a couple of comments from the folks over at LitList inviting me to take a look at their new layout. You can check it out here.

There’s apparently more to it than just a pretty face. I understand there have been some improvements to the coding and platform as well.

The number of listings (for short stories and poetry) is still comparatively small (compared to Duotrope’s Digest, that is). They’re still broken down between print and online publications (and I don’t see the point of that), and sorted alphabetically, but now you can specify whether you want only listings for poetry, fiction, nonfiction, art, or other.

The blog has also had some recent entries, and they’re eager for user input.

You might want to give them a look. The way I see it, if you find only one publication there that you hadn’t elsewhere, everyone wins.

The rewrite is complete

November 4, 2009 - Leave a Response

I have done it. I have finished the final rewrite of my novel-in-progress, The Sleep of Reason. Now I feel the relief that I missed when I finished writing the first draft. I knew then that it needed work, which may be why I didn’t feel this way then. (Does that make sense?)

I have now what I consider a finished product, polished and ready to send to the cold, capricious agents and editors of the world to be awed. I have a whole novel here, one I feel confident and proud of, one that I am convinced can stand on the shelf with any other novel. It’s as good as I can make it, and it’s ready to test itself in the world.

Instead, though, I’m going to put it away. I’m going to copy these chapters to a subdirectory in Google Documents for safekeeping, then I’m going to abandon this draft.

Although it’s a good and complete story, there is a story behind the story that isn’t being told, and to present that I need to rewrite it with a third person narrator. (Trust me on this.) So I’m going to give myself a few days of respite, then I’m going to embark on the hard work of writing a fresh novel from a different point of view. I don’t know how hard this process will be, but I’m going to do it, and keep doing it, until I get it right because that is what needs to be done.

I think I’ve settled on the persona of my narrator: an omniscient, bemused gentleman telling the tale of a lost and foolish man. I’ll keep him just short of being devilish, but his all-knowing, detached attitude will reinforce much of the tale to be told.

Wish me luck. I intend to begin in earnest this weekend.

A bad taste

November 3, 2009 - One Response

I just finished reading a novel that has left a lingering foul taste. I want to cleanse my creative palate now.

I came to this novel with great anticipation, even eagerness. It’s a debut novel by a writer who will probably have much success. I’d read an enthusiastic review of the novel online and then found a half dozen similar excited reviews for it, including one in the New York Times. The author’s next novel has already been snatched up by the publisher, and I understand the debut novel has been optioned for a movie. The novel sounded like winner, and I was hoping to write my own review of it on this humble blog.

That won’t happen. Although I found a few things I liked about the work, I found a far greater number of things that I hated. Chief among them was the writing; it was dreadful.

The writing is full of colloquialisms, the kind of cliched stuff that creeps into first drafts but needs to be cleaned out. The protagonist proceeded “with a spring in his step.” He found he was “sitting on a gold mine.” And so forth. Many sentences were obviously constructed so that they wouldn’t end with a preposition, and they read about as affected as you can imagine. “Big words” pop into the narrative that seem inconsistent with the narrator’s natural vocabulary.  Every single page had something like this. It was grossly amateurish; it was the kind of thing I saw from my students when they wanted to write “properly.” (An aside: at one point the character must do something “at 2:00 a.m. in the morning”!)

At first I wanted to attribute this sloppiness to the voice of the narrator, that the writer wanted the narrator to speak like a precocious middle school student, but I don’t think that’s it. I certainly didn’t see a reason for having the narrator tell the story this way. I really think it is due to a first time novelist (with little prior fiction writing experience according to the book’s website) who received inadequate editing.

But more than just the narrative bothered me. The protagonist begins to go through a profound psychological change with an almost arbitrary motivation. Or rather, the matter that sparks his change had been before him all of his adult life, and I don’t think the author did a very good job of showing why he was suddenly (and so extensively) affected by it. It seemed contrived. Other motivations needed for the character to take plot-required turns are presented when they are needed rather than woven into the character’s personality from the start. I felt as though this character could do just about anything, make any kind of decision, or reveal some hitherto-unseen-but-suddenly-necessary skill at any time. Throughout the story the protagonist had “never felt more frightened in his life,” or “never felt more happy in his life,” or “never felt more certain in his life,” and so on. Important characters are referenced but never introduced. Other characters are given extensive introductions and are never seen again.

The plot was clever, but it took a bizarre turn near the end that provided high drama yet didn’t seem necessary to show the development of the character. Like so much else in the story, the hand of the writer was apparent when, with good writing, the writer should disappear in the story.

In all, it was a big mess. I don’t know what the editor did for the writer (it is from a large, well known publisher), but some serious work with the red pen might have rescued the writing. Certainly if it were my story, I wouldn’t have submitted it in this condition. I don’t see myself reading this author’s next novel. Maybe I’ll pick up something of his a decade from now and see if he has improved.

As I said, I finished this novel with a bad taste. I always fear that by reading such writing, I will be influenced by it in my own writing. Fortunately, I have Philip Roth’s new novel on my reading shelf. I can tell that every single word in his fiction is chosen to do specific work. It will provide the corrective I need.

The rewrite still progresses

October 31, 2009 - One Response

I continue on my rewrite of The Sleep of Reason, taking far more time at this pass through than I had expected I would. I have only four chapters left to go. I’m trying to consider each sentence and even each word to make sure it is the best that it can be for the work it has to do. Ironically, I’m giving this careful attention to a draft I pretty much intend to abandon once I am through it.

After this, I will begin the complete rewrite using a third person narrator. This is why, I suspect, I’m moving so slowly through this penultimate rewrite. I’m afraid to begin the third person version.

It’s going to be hard work to re-imagine a work that I have spent nearly the last two years imagining with a protagonist narrator. It took me until nearly the end of writing the first draft before I saw that the first person narrator approach was not going to work, and it was only after that, that I saw the deeper story within the story that a third person narrator would allow. Of course it would have been better to see from the start the kind of narrator I needed, but I didn’t, and I don’t think I could have. I simply had to struggle and earn this revelation. Now it is nearly time to roll up my sleeves and begin the hard work ahead.

I haven’t settled upon who this third person narrator will be. Omniscient, yes, but he will only get us inside of the protagonist’s mind. He’s not a character in the story himself, but he clearly will know every detail about it. Will he respect my protagonist or find him a fool? Is he a gentleman or a demon? Will he be telling the story over drinks at the club or around a campfire? Whose voice will I hear in my head when I have him telling the tale?

None of this will be shown in his narration, but it will color his narration. His attitude toward his subject, the words that he uses, even his sentence structure will be the result of who he is, even though he is not an active character in the story. And I still have to figure out this part.

Really, who cares?

October 29, 2009 - Leave a Response

In the very first Sherlock Holmes story, A Study in Scarlet, Holmes confesses to Watson that he had no idea that the earth orbited the sun until Watson told him. As far as he knew, it was the other way around. Even though this seems contradictory to the omnivore of knowledge that the Sherlock Holmes character became, it was done at the time to show that he didn’t bother himself what what he considered useless (to him) details. I’ll grant, also, that this was the first appearance of Sherlock Holmes, and Doyle may not have foreseen how far this character would go.

The philosopher and novelist Albert Camus made a similar statement in his essay “The Myth of Sisyphus” when he said it really did not matter to him whether the earth orbited the sun or the other way around. His thoughts were elsewhere.

I’ve read that there are seven basic plots. This, that, the other one, and four more. But I don’t really care. I can’t imagine shaping one of my plots to meet the definition of one of those seven or sitting down and saying that I’ll now write a number five. I merely write the story that I have. Similarly, they say that the typical story has a three-part structure. Well, someone says they do; maybe that’s true. I don’t pay attention. I just read the story, and the same thing happens when I write the story.

I don’t consciously fit my narrative to some prescribed structure. I write the story I have, whatever story I have. My novel-in-progress, The Sleep of Reason, for example, might be considered a four-part story. Something happens in the beginning, and then it is repeated three times through the course of the story. Did I consciously design the story to happen this way? No, certainly not at first anyway. In fact, I had considered repeating the “something” many more times, but that seemed arbitrary (and creatively exhausting), and I saw that I could make the necessary progression happen with only three iterations, so that determined the structure, which is what was necessary to tell the story I had.

I realize that being a person immersed in Western culture, and being an eclectic reader of the stories created in that culture, I have no doubt unconsciously absorbed these kinds of structural conventions. I’m sure they govern my story structure without me being aware. I suspect I imagine my stories into being with some of this basic convention at their core. My point, and I really do have a point, is that I don’t sit down in advance and create with them in mind. Nor do I analyze my stories to see how they fit such patterns. It’s really not that important to me. And I’m not sure it’s fair to the story when someone tries to make these impositions..

Not on my schedule, but fine anyway

October 27, 2009 - Leave a Response

I’ve spoken here before about how I don’t understand the murky operations of my creative self, and I’m happy not understanding. Great ideas pop into my head when I least expect them (though they seem to come most often when I’m mowing the lawn). I fear that if I knew what the process was, if I analyzed it and dissected it, I would slay it. So I take what it gives and smile inwardly with gratitude.

Nonetheless, my creative schedule sure seems to be capricious. I have perhaps half a dozen story/novel ideas I’m actively working on at present. (And by “actively” I mean they are at the front of my mind, not that I am drafting them or such.) I probably have that many more snippets of ideas floating around, and I have pages and pages of space in my paper journal waiting for things to be added. And I never know which of them is going to be graced by my mysterious creative self with a revelation.

Among my Google Documents are the notes I’m keeping for a short story that involves, among other things, circles. I was busy minding my own business the other day when I had this sudden understanding of another circle that is involved in the theme of that story. I opened the Google Documents file and added my quick notes, and then I started thinking of the further implications of this revelation, so the notes kept coming. I think I spent twenty minutes typing and cogitating and developing. It was satisfying and productive.

And then it stopped. I’m sure I’ll have other revelations like that one for this story idea, but in the meantime I expect to receive other great ideas on who-knows-what story idea. I sure don’t know, and as I said, I don’t want to know. But it sure is curious to me how various the schedule of my creative mind seems to be.

Cliffhanging

October 26, 2009 - Leave a Response

I’m reading a novel now in which a person is about to be caught doing something wrong. The chapter ended with the discovery imminent. I’m eager to get back to the book to find out what happens.

The cliffhanger ending of a chapter is a long-standing, much respected tradition in writing. In some genres it is the convention. As a technique, it works.

Still . . . (you knew that was coming)

Doesn’t it seem a bit manipulative? Maybe that’s an overstatement. I guess what I mean to say is that I don’t think I’m the kind of reader that must be induced to keep reading. By and large, I open a novel in the same spirit I enter a contract; I feel obliged to finish a novel not only to respect the writer and the writing but myself as well. (There are perhaps fewer than a dozen novels I have not finished in my entire adult reading life, and the last one I left only because it was far too dense and complicated for me to understand: the writer is considered the Portuguese Faulkner.) I’ve heard of many readers who will give a book a two-chapter chance; if the novel doesn’t “grab” the reader by then, it gets thrown across the room (sometimes literally). While I can see how this would make sense for, say, an agent who has to get through a dozen or more manuscripts a day, it doesn’t seem to me to be the contemplative, thoughtful, enriching experience I want my reading to be.

My point is that I am going to read a serious work (of whatever genre or approach) regardless of its (lack of) structural inducements. In fact, if a novel doesn’t “grab” me by the second chapter, I tend to be even more intrigued by it because I want to know just what the writer is doing that I seem to be missing. (Perhaps in this way I am induced to keep reading.)

I look at novels as being wholes, not parts. I’m not going to pass judgment on a novel until I’ve read all the way to the very last sentence. (In some cases, the last sentence illuminates all that has come before it — Portnoy’s Complaint comes to mind — and really, what else would a last sentence be in the story for if it didn’t have important work to do?) The idea that I could make an up or down decision about a novel by the second chapter seems shortsighted and naive — even impatient — to me.

I don’t want to disparage any readers; the world needs more of them. I suspect, however, that many readers have been trained to expect and thus require these kind of manipulative mechanics in stories, which may leave them unable to attempt another, more measured kind of reading enjoyment.